Hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday. It has been raining here everyday now for a week and a half. I love rain, but I would not mind if it stopped now, lol.
This morning while everyone was asleep, I was skimming through Facebook and came across an article called "People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Rules for Parents of Daughters." First, the title is a little too much. Now if you come across this article, they do state some very reasonable opinions. Personally I am not a fan of articles telling someone how they should raise their children. Opinions are welcomed, but to say do not do this, this and this, well that is a little too much. Everyone parents differently and as long as the parent is not physically or emotionally harming a child, I do not see the concern for others input. Here are a few that I see where they are driving at, but will not cause your daughter to grow and be a total basket case.
4. Teach your daughter to like and respect herself and demand respect from those around her. She may end up lonely sometimes, but at least she will not be a door mat.
*I absolutely agree that my daughter should love and respect herself, but you have to give respect to earn respect. My daughter can not demand respect if she is not willing to give respect. Yes, I am teaching my daughter, who is three, to respect others. However, if I am going to teach my daughter that she deserves respect from others, she is too respect as well. That needs to be mentioned in the above statement.
7. Teach your daughter to go easy on the plastic surgery.
*This one is a little confusing. If we are to teach our daughters to love yourself, why should we teach them to go easy on the plastic surgery? As a mom, I would never offer the idea of plastic surgery or the need of it to my daughter. I have seen mothers send their children in for plastic surgery, but only because of a disfigurement from cancer or an accident. I can understand mentioning plastic surgery then. However, I would not entertain the idea to my daughter who is fine just the way God made her. Should you not do this as well? That is your decision as their parent. Please do not mistake this post as me calling anyone a bad parent. If we can teach our daughters at a young age that they are beautiful, if they gain weight, have a crooked nose, or whatever it may be, they are still beautiful. If my daughter comes to me in her twenties and says, "Hey mom I am thinking about plastic surgery for this hump in my nose", I would not shoot it down. I would express my concerns, we would look up the possibility of something going wrong, and if she still wants to do it then find the best doctor. I would also stress, not to get carried away in the future with anything else she may want done. However, as long as she is a child and teen, I will drive into her the beauty of real beauty.
11. Teach your daughter what a douche canoe is so she can avoid them.
*Okay this was just worded incorrectly. Are we teaching our daughters to point out someone's flaws? Is this a good idea? I can understand the fear of your daughter growing up and dating someone who you absolutely dislike, and cringe every time you see them. However, pointing out flaws is not going to help. It can potentially make your daughter shallow. As my daughter gets older I am going to teach her how a woman should be treated. How she deserves respect from the person she is with, whether it's male or female, and how she must respect them as well. How communication is important and above all honesty and loyalty. There are so many ways to teach your daughter what to look for in a partner instead of teaching them what a "douche" is.
15. Teach your daughter that smart girls get further in life than slutty girls.
*Okay, really? Lets continue with the judgement of others... Educate your daughters, teach them the importance of an education. Let them know that it can be difficult living pay check to pay check. It does not make them a failure, but teach them that those fours years are going to pass either way. In those four years they can become independent, and not have to rely on anyone. How much easier it is to raise a child when you are not worrying if you are going to afford diapers out of your next paycheck.
16. Teach your daughter to walk away from teen magazines. There is so much pressure put on young girls these days to look pretty or hot it's nauseating.
*Okay, here we go again. Media has portrayed young girls and women to be thin stick figures with flawless skin, not one single fat pore showing on their face. This is where you as the parent come in. Introduce your child to Photoshop and explain how the media lies by using this. Show them before and after pictures of celebrities and that these flawless, weightless, pore free women walking around are not real. You can not take away a teen magazine without taking away books and the television. They would have to cover their eyes when passing a billboard of a supermodel who looks like she is one purge away from passing out. It's impossible. Unless you are planning to shut your child off from the world, there is nothing wrong with a teen magazine, but also teach your daughter what goes on behind those "flawless" bodies.
23. Teach your daughter that the "Queen Bees" and "Wanna Bees" and "mean girls" are a waste of time and she should invest in one or two good friends.
*What? I am going to place my laptop to the side for a moment and see if I can gather the words I want to say... Okay, it has been about five minutes and I think I have this. No, I really would not want to see my daughter part of the "mean girl" clique, because I would not want my daughter thinking she is better than everyone or bullying, and when it comes to finding friends, I am not comfortable with the term "waste of time". Are we trying to control every aspect of our daughters life? Children have to find there way in society. Where they belong, who shares their same interest. If Annalisa came home crying because she could not get in to the "Queen Bee" clique, I would not tell her it is a waste of time. I would try to explain that she would not be happy with friends that she had to work hard for their friendship. Good friends take you as you are, love and support you. Girl friends do not tear one another apart. Why set a limit for a child on how many friends they actually need. If they find fifteen girls that share the same interest, and love hanging out, that is just wonderful. If they find only one or two they consider real friends, that is wonderful too. I can not agree with telling my daughter you only need to find one or two friends and if some little girl wants to join your group then it is a no go. Let them have their friends and find their loyal ones. I do not want her going through life, and not doing something because "it's a waste of time". This is a situation you would probably have to be in with your daughter to know exactly what to do or say,
24. Don't allow her to pierce or tattoo her body until she is out on her own.
*I can understand many parents who agree with this. Nothing is wrong with you doing this, but it is not something that should be added to this list. Nothing is wrong for those parents who have signed to let their child get a piercing. I was 15 when my mother signed for me to get my tongue pierced. The barbell never turned me into a "slut", drop out or popping out twenty kids. It was my identity, it was something I wanted. My parents never forced me to stop finding my identity and for that, I am truly thankful.
There are so many articles out there stating how you should and should not raise your child. My opinion, raise your child as you see fit. No parent is perfect and the way we raise our children is not perfect. Not only do the children learn, but we learn as well. In your decision think how it will affect your child, and their feelings. I can not stand to hear someone say, well who cares what they think, I am the parent. There is nothing positive in that idea. If your child sees that you are taking their feelings into consideration, they will learn to do this as well when making friends and learning the world.
This is not a post to bash the authors of this article. Their article was stating an opinion, and so is mine. How I raise my daughter, may not be how you, the reader, may raise your child, and then again you just may. To not make this post any longer, do not raise your child by an article of opinions.
If you like to read the full article, just click the link below.
Daughters
